O – Organizing Your Supports

Why consider organizing your supports?

Just as lives are forever altered by grief and trauma, many once stable relationships are at least temporarily changed. Relationships with friends, family, colleagues, and other community members can strengthen, weaken, or be suddenly conflicted. In addition, new people may appear in your life to support, guide, or mentor. By determining who can provide support, where their strength areas lie (Can they be? Can they do?), and if the relationship can be supportive at all (SHELF?), it is possible to rest at ease in the healing power of those who seek to assist with a newly transforming life.

How does organizing your supports promote healing?

• By releasing any unrealistic expectations you may have of family, friends, and colleagues
• By assisting other people in supporting you with their BE-ing or DO-ing
• By taking a break from people who may release negative energy in your direction

Try this A2Z activity: 

Who’s in Your Life?

BE’ers

These are the people in your life who might BE there to:

  • sit with you
  • cry with you
  • provide their quiet presence in your home
  • listen without judgement
  • sleep next to you and your children
  • hug you without words

DO’ers

These are the people in your life who might DO things for you like:

  • make some meals
  • set up a meal train
  • take you to appointments
  • shuffle your kids to their activities
  • complete household chores
  • help you re-organize your finances
  • drag you outside for a walk, hike, surf, or bike ride
  • organize a local outing
  • buy tickets to a sporting event
  • do your grocery shopping
  • book a massage
  • help with the care of pets
  • run simple errands

SHELF’ers

These are the people in your life who may need to sit on your “take a break” SHELF due to negative or toxic habits such as:

  • constantly judging you
  • consistently giving unsolicited advice
  • not giving you space and time to grieve
  • leaving you feeling drained and depleted by their words or actions

Resources


How will you organize your supports to help your healing journey?